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[24 Apr 2020|03:29pm] |
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[23 Apr 2020|03:42pm] |
THE ENIGMA / There's more to her than meets the eye.
[Unknown LJ tag]
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[16 Oct 2010|08:20pm] |
Private.There were times in which I really missed my father. I would sit by the door every evening, waiting for him to come home. I couldn't understand why he left, why he abandoned us. The only tie he had to 'us' was me. He never proposed to my mother for a reason, and now that reason is painfully evident. At the time I only wanted my daddy back, to have someone there to give me piggy back rides when I wanted them and to buy that extra candy bar my mother wouldn't allow. He was a decent father while he was there, but I cannot even clearly remember the last time I've seen him. It's been so long, and I hardly think sending a check once a month qualifies him for the 'father of the year' award.
Yet regardless of his absence, I still find myself missing him every day. The hollow feeling lessens with each passing day and I find it difficult to force myself to a place in which I feel nothing for the man. In which I can simply walk away from him without a second thought or a care in the world. But when you think nothing good can come as a result of a situation such as this, that is when life surprises you. Enter River and Erik.
For the longest time I considered myself to be an only child, for my mother was not very keen on the idea of having more than one. It was through my father's infidelities that River came into my life, and though we are not close by any means it's kind of a relief to not feel as alone as I once thought I was. Family is family, even if you sometimes don't particularly like who you've been dealt to. It's similar to a hand of poker. Sometimes you want to keep the King, and other times you want to trade him for a new one.
I want to trade mine in.
Erik, though he is not avidly aware of it, has helped me quite a bit. He challenges me at every turn, and I think I need that at times. He's all ego with hair, but his voice is absolutely incredible. I have never heard another human being sing like that, not with that kind of passion and determination at the least. Soon I'll be reading a short biography about him in a Playbill, I'm certain of it. I'm just rather flattered he chose me to sing with him, but I don't think I'll admit that to him quite yet. His head barely fits through a doorway as it is.
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